I know that one of the topics I think about most often is that of motherhood, especially my own place in that role. I can honestly say that my pregnancy was a surprise and that I didn’t know that to pick up for myself in pulling the strings of motherhood together… But there are times that I watch movies or television, or books that I read, that make me think more and more about the roles all mothers play in this world to help keep things going.
Most recently I was watching Erin Brockovich one afternoon and looking at motherhood and professional inspiration alike from both the story of a poor woman raising her children alone and the actress’s charms of Julia Roberts. I have tried from very early in my son’s life to be able to handle both of the parental roles while bringing in the entire income of the home, but I wonder sometimes what the capability of all of that can be. There is so much to consider in being a single mother not collecting child support, and especially being that single mother working her ass off to keep building a professional life as well in order to improve that life at home as much as possible.
It is wonderful to consider myself in the strengths that I have to keep my house together, especially including the difficulties that I have overcome to bring life back to livable. I know that relationships with the kids can always become difficult when there is the worry about a job being more important than motherhood, and I saw that part of the movie where Erin’s son expresses frustration at bedtime due to her excessive attention to work. I know that I went through a wonderful period at one point where I had a lot of comfortable standards put together in this life, but then I let my fears and worries get the best of me.
So, I like to see both the relation and motivation of other mothers who have made the same natural fight as me in attempts to care for their children on their own. I know that I have a great amount of assistance from my family, and they helped a great deal in letting me complete my education and move further into my dreams among the professional world. I wonder sometimes whether employers separate me from others considering my need to place my son at a priority, especially when I always had to leave in time to pick him up from daycare and make sure that we were ready to keep plans organized and situated for all of his activities.
Looking at a single mother like the one in the movie I see myself with the same defensive and protective personality, both my son and myself, working toward both our sets of dreams in the world. There is a great amount to fight for, especially with the economic difficulties causing problems in the workforce and my nervous nature at interviews, no matter how qualified I feel for those positions which I have applied. There are so many other pieces of the world that often feel as though they are falling down around me, considering the fact that I am no longer a full family with my son enjoying his life out in the country with his grandparents. There are so many difficulties to make sure that life advances with all the glitter of professional dreams, fighting to maintain as many positions as possible in order to move forward both financially and with impression in my profession. So, trying to be a great and employee and mother at the same time is a conflicting internal battle… I know that I have much to continue working on for myself, but I hope that I will be able to work with many other to advance the state of mothers around the globe!
Take a note here… months later, as I have taken the time to look through so many books available by intelligent and experienced mothers out there, that there is a great deal to expect in the wonderful yet challenging work of a mother. I know that my life is not the one of a traditional mother, but it is still the most important thing in my life. There are so many wonderful authors and women out there with millions of pieces of advice to offer to new mothers and mothers facing the most difficult days of their relationships with their children. I think it would be helpful to read!